Been to Disney World, Disneyland or Disney anything.
Worn makeup (except in a play)
Seen the Exorcist
Been to Las Vegas
Jumped out of an airplane (why would you?)
Had Cable TV
Been arrested (but I’ve been pulled over, like, a million times)
Broken a bone
Seen a movie (in a theater) alone
Performed the Heimlich maneuver on anyone
Knitted or crocheted
Shot or even SEEN heroin
Lived outside the US
Eaten an oyster
Been a bridesmaid or even been in a wedding (except to play & sing)
Bungee jumped (again,why?)
Gotten a tattoo
Cleaned an oven

No, this isn’t a Bucket List.  I pretty much DON’T want to do any of these things, except maybe the Heimlich, definitely the tat,  and living abroad.

Things I HAVE done that I think are pretty cool:

Been to Singapore
Written songs
Gardened for 25 years
Learned to speak French
Birthed three people (and nursed ‘em all)
Taught college
Bought my own house
Learned to stay in the moment

Yes I hang my wash out all year ’round.  It gives the clothes a smell and feel no chemical could ever impart.  And what cracks me up, is, when I started doing this 25 years ago, I was frowned upon by my neighbors.  We weren’t that kind of neighborhood (although in fact we were).  When we did move to Yuppiville, NJ, it was even worse.  The neighbors couldn’t stand us, and not just for the wash, which was actually mostly hidden behind the detached garage.  NOW it’s all about green, and they try to convince us on TV not to put our clothes in the dryer.  Hah!  25 years head of you.  Think of all the precious electricity I’ve saved.

And here’s the biggest myth about hanging the wash in the winter….yes, the clothes do freeze when you first put them up (or, in reality, the water in them freezes, making them like a board).  But then, wonder of wonders, the water does evaporate.  Or actually sublimates, since that is the process of a substance going directly from a solid state to a gaseous state.  But our fabulous sun can do that!  And voila, the clothes dry.  It takes a little longer (like three or four times as long as in summer), and if it rains or snows, they have to stay up there.  But they do eventually dry.

Funny, how perception can change things.  Years ago, I was accused of being CHEAP for refusing to buy plastic diapers or baby food, for re-using paper towels, plastic bags, or those aluminum dishes you get with pies and breads you buy.  In fact I was a hippie for making my OWN bread (and that was before those bread-maker things).  I was an Evil Mom for packing sandwiches instead of letting my kids eat those fat-and-sodium laden Lunchables.  Catching rainwater in a bucket to water the garden is NOW called “rainwater harvesting”.  Buy your clothes at a thrift store?  You must be some kind of freak.  I’ve been turning used paper upside down and sticking it back in the printer since 1996.  I’ve been using the comic sections of Sunday papers to wrap presents since the 70’s. Composting kitchen scraps and yard waste since forever.  NOW it’s all about recycling and re-using.  Suddenly instead of a cheap, nasty miser, I’m a freakin’ hero.

And here’s a perception that needs to change…it should not cost MORE to be green-friendly.  There are plenty of companies out there that are more than willing to take your money for a greener alternative you can probably make at home, for one-tenth the cost.  No, it’s not ALL about money but being cheap and being green can go hand-in-hand, if you are just willing to invest a little time.

I know I talk a lot about this on the air, but I want to point out that in this post-holiday bleak depressive atmosphere, each day has about 2 minutes more daylight. That’s kind of the reason we celebrate Christmas when we do, because it’s only a few days after the Winter Solstice, at which time the sun appears for the least amount of time in the sky. Then, every day after that, two more minutes (or so). So that in a months’ time it’ll get dark at, like, 5:30 rather than 4:30. I know it’s not much, but it is something to hold on to.

Then, each week, there’s more light. Notice I didn’t say sunlight, because here in Northeast Pennsylvania we don’t have that kind of thing from November to March. Late March. One year I decided to go to Florida in late March…for a working vacation, for about five days. The best thing wasn’t the warm temperatures, or the fact that I was able to swim in the ocean (although that was pretty cool), it was the fact that it was sunny all the time. Really…getting off the plane, and standing in the sun, waiting for the car rental guy, I pulled up my sleeves to catch more sun on my skin. Bet they all knew I was a snowbird. Well tough.

I was once married to a first generation Amercain-Norwegian, and all his father’s siblings and relatives were still in Norway. These people have no sense of humor from November to March. Everything is gloomy, and if you make a joke they turn that gloom on you. In the summer, on the other hand, they get kind of crazy and violent. Too much sun, they say. Does this mean I’m promoting sun worship? Damn right! When it is sunny, go stand in the window and soak up as much as you can. They say it’ll improve your mood. You don’t even have to go outside, although that helps too.

A guy just won a settlement in a free speech lawsuit. Turns out the constitution protects “the finger”!!!! It happened in Pittsburgh…35-year-old David Hackbart, of Butler, made the gesture at a driver in April 2006. He did it again when someone yelled at him, realizing only later the second person was a police officer. The American Civil Liberties Union sued saying Hackbart’s gesture was constitutionally protected speech. Council gave initial approval to the settlement Tuesday, but must vote again next week to finally approve the 50-thousand dollar payment.

If we can’t flip the bird at other drivers, why leave the house? And if I’ve ever done it to you, here in Northeast Pennsylvania, I’m sorry. But you made me mad.

Driving is one of those places where the consequences are not likely to fall upon the do-er. Once I did that to someone in front of me, because I was late for church (I used to play guitar and mass and sing the songs, until the Church said, don’t bother unless you join the parish). Turns out it was the priest who was celebrating Mass! We both pretended not to know.

Hey Father! You’re number one!!